Becoming a Better Leader

Have you ever thought about the steps you can take to improve your knowledge and expertise in order to become a better leader within your company, within your industry, or within your community?

The online business space is pretty crowded these days, and one of the major ways you can stand out from the rest of the businesses in your industry is to be viewed as a leader. 

What being a leader means

Well, according to Google a “leader” is a person who leads or commands a group, organization or country.

I’ll take that, and add a bit to it:

A leader is someone who has a certain amount of expertise in whatever industry or niche they are in, and they are willing – and do – share their insights with those around them through writing, speaking and taking action.

They are good at not only sharing their lessons learned, expertise and insights, but also at teaching others how to apply that so they don’t make the same mistakes. A leader is trusted, holds authority and is viewed as a credible source by those who follow.

They deliver consistent value with integrity and passion, they learn to take responsibility for their actions, and they’re always willing to go the extra mile.

 

Sounds like a pretty good gig, right?

But how exactly do you go about becoming a better leader? Well, it takes time, patience, hard work and a lot of dedication.

7 steps to becoming a better leader

1. Follow leaders who you look up to

This is sort of like writers following the writers they admire. If you’re following true leaders, then you’ll have a lot to learn from them in order to become a better leader yourself.

Take Action: Pick out 2, 3 or even 4 leaders who you admire – either for their speaking abilities, their expertise in a particular industry or niche, their ability to teach others who can learn from their mistakes – and read their articles, follow their speaking engagements and check out their presence on social media and within online communities. You’ll soon find that leaders have an effective way of getting out there and being seen and heard.

2. Practice the things that make you uncomfortable

A lot of you who want to become better leaders probably know exactly what it takes to get there, but the reason you’re not a better leader right now is that you’re scared of those things.

These things might include becoming a better speaker, building stronger relationships, taking yourself out of your comfort zone for travel and other engagements… Guess what? All of these things will help you become a better leader.

Take Action: Start practicing those things that make you uncomfortable with a mentor or friend. Before you know it, you’ll not only become better at doing these things, you might actually grow to like them!

Anything that makes you uncomfortable WILL make you stronger after you’ve achieved it.

3. Tell yourself every day that you’re a leader (and believe it!)

You love staying on the negative side of things, right? You’re not good enough at this, or strong enough at that. It’s comforting to know these things because it means you can’t fail. How can you fail at something you’re not even good at in the first place?

If you already know you can’t do it, then it won’t be a surprise when you don’t.

To become a leader, you have to believe that you are a leader, and then start ACTING like one.

Take Action: Look at yourself in the mirror, and tell yourself every day that you are a leader.

4. Learn something new about your expertise, industry or niche every day

I don’t care what expertise you have, or what industry or niche you’re in; these days, things are changing by the minute.

In order to maintain your leadership level and your expertise – your ability to teach people things that will keep them from making the same mistakes you did – you need to stay on top of the changes that are happening around you.

Take Action: Do keyword searches for words and phrases that are trending in your business world. Then, find relevant articles, writers and publications who keep up with the latest and greatest and add them to your Feedly, (or whatever platform  you use to track your favorite feeds). This way, you’ll be able to go to a single source for updates relevant to your industry or niche. 

5. Gather resources you use and that you would recommend to others

If you’re being looked at as an authority figure by others, then you better believe you’re the one those people will be looking to for resources and advice. This is why it’s important to have a collection of resources that you not only have used and believe in yourself, but that you also feel strongly about recommending to others.

Take Action: Every time you use a new resource or tool, take notes on your experience with it. Once you have an ongoing list of resources, you can start to build out a resources page on your site to share with your followers.

Note: Your credibility depends on these recommendations, so choose wisely.

6. Read

In addition to following leaders who you look up to, and learning something new about your expertise, industry or niche every day, it’s also important to read, read, read!

Take Action: Make a list of the top 5 business books you want to read, and set a date that you want to have them finished by. Then, hold yourself accountable to that date.

7. Build and grow your relationships

Building and growing your relationships will no doubt, 100% help you become a better leader. The more connected you are, the more people you have to bounce ideas off from and share feedback with, the better off you’ll be.

I can’t think of a single leader who “went at it alone”. You need support and motivation, those who will hold you accountable and who will act as a sounding board for feedback and recommendations.

Take Action: Write down 10 names of people who you feel that – either by building or growing upon your relationship – both of you would benefit. Then, reach out to those people and connect. If they’re in your geographical area, then try to set a time to meet for coffee. If they aren’t in your geographical area, then send them a note and ask how things are going with their business, and whether or not there is anything you can do to help. You can also see if these people are planning to attend any upcoming conferences or speeches, and try to connect with them in person if you’ll be in the same place at the same time.

What becoming a better leader means

Becoming a better leader means growing your expertise in whatever industry or niche you’re in; being willing – and able – to share your insights with those around you; being good at not only sharing your expertise and insights, but also at teaching others how to apply them so they don’t make the same mistakes; and being someone who your followers can trust and view as an authority figure.

It also means big potential for your business.

Deliver value with integrity and passion, and your fans and followers will always be there.

Learn to take responsibility for your actions, and use your failures and missteps as learning experiences. You’ll be amazed by the lessons you can carry with your for years to come, and how those lessons can truly help others.

Make helping others achieve their goals through sharing the lessons learned, skills and knowledge you already have BIGGER than your own fears.

When the going get’s tough, keep on going.

It’s never crowded along the extra mile. – Wayne Dyer

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Tips on: How to Respond to Negative People

Negative people are like human vacuum holes which suddenly come out of nowhere and just suck the life out of you. You try to stay positive and remain strong but their negativity ends up just completely draining you, you feel exhausted, and you may also start to feel depressed.
So what can you do? One of the first things to be aware of who are the negative people in your life? This may not be as easy as you first think.
Here’s some of the signs to look for:
– you experience a sense of being demeaned, constricted or attacked.
– you intuitively feel unsafe, tense or on guard.
– you sense prickly, off-putting vibes. You can’t wait to get away from them.
– your energy starts to fizzle. You may feel beleaguered or ill.”
She also refers to them by the following names you might recognize: the sob sister, the blamer, the drama queen, the constant talker or joke teller, and the fixer-upper (requires endless help).
Also, pay attention to what the person talks about. Is it always about how bad things are? Do they just complain and never actually do anything about what’s upsetting them?
Once you have a good idea on how to recognize them then you can actually work on protecting yourself from them.
Here are 10 strategies on how to deal with negative people:
1. Where’s it coming from?
Do you understand why this person is so negative? Is it because they hate their job, feel frustrated, feel trapped in their life or do they lack in self esteem so the only way they can feel powerful is by hurting others? If you can understand where it’s coming from, it’s much easier to deal with. Some people seem to think that the only way they can get what they want is to be manipulative. Remember the saying, “the squeaky wheel gets the oil.” They believe this and think that if they don’t whine and complain that they won’t be heard and that this is the only way to get what they want.
Remember that the negative behavior is a reflection of them. It tells you what kind of person they are and what issues they may be dealing with. It’s not a reflection of who you are.
2. Just smile and remain completely detached
Whenever the negative tirade starts just smile and don’t say anything. Remain completely detached from it and don’t get involved in it. Leave the room if you can. The negative person is simply seeking to get a reaction from you. That’s what they feed on. Don’t let them catch you in their web of negativity because as soon as you do, that’s when they start draining your energy.
It’s the emotions that these negative people stir up in you that you need to learn to distance yourself from. Try just observing the whole scene. Say to yourself, “what a shame this person is so unhappy. Maybe some of my positive energy will rub off on her. If not, her unhappiness has nothing to do with me.” This isn’t always an easy thing to do but definitely a powerful technique. In order to get the full benefit from it, you need to make sure that you’re aware of what’s going on around you. It’s easy to slip into auto-pilot and not realize until later how drained you feel. You need to detach yourself from the event while it’s happening and just observe it.
This works well for family members who you don’t really have a choice as to whether they’re in your life or not.
3. Say, “Now tell me something positive.” 
Right after someone finished telling you some tragic story, say to them, “Now tell me a positive story” or “Tell me about something good that happened to you today.” Some people have no idea how negative they become. That’s what people surrounded themselves day in, and day out. So it’s just become a way of life for them. By being given the reminder, they may actually realize that being negative isn’t the kind of person they want to be, and may start to work on becoming more positive. Or, they may decide it’s not worth telling you their horror stories because you’ll ask them to think of something positive. Sob sisters always whining, feel the world is against themselves. feel they’re victims. probably find you are the one individual getting tired of the senseless whining-so they decide not to deal with you anymore because you don’t get sucked up into their drama.
Some people may react by saying something like, “Nothing good happened to me today.” You can tell them, like to appreciate and be grateful for all the little things that happen to me everyday. I got to work on time. I had a good breakfast this morning. I’m wearing my favorite shoes. I’m living in a beautiful home or apartment. Surely you have plenty happening for you too.”
4. Imagine a bright white light surrounding you
Yes, this might sound silly at first but if you can do it, it’s amazing how much of a difference it can make. You’ll feel that their negativity can’t touch you because you now have a force field protecting you.
I used to have a really nasty manager who would constantly try to make me feel like an idiot. When I had a shower in the morning, I would imagine that I was being covered with a protective oil so that any of her comments would just slide right off me. I also put up a post it note on my computer that said, “Oiyli” which stood for “Only if you let it”. It reminded me that her comments could only hurt me if I let them. If was my choice as to how to react to her. If I reacted to her comments, she’d gloat knowing that she’d upset me. So, the less I reacted, the less she made her comments because she didn’t get her desired response out of me.
5. Is it a sign?
I find that the “universe” uses negative people as the way to get me to move on whenever I’m getting comfortable in a situation that isn’t challenging me anymore. It’s like a prod that I should be focusing more on following my dream rather than just getting caught up in a nice, comfortable routine that isn’t getting me anywhere. If I didn’t have these people, then I would probably just stay. So, sometimes I’m really grateful to these people because they’re giving me the “kick” that I need to get out of a comfort rut. So, take the time and think about the big picture of the situation. Is it a sign that you need to make some bigger changes in your life?
6. What does it say about you?
Negative people want to get a reaction out of you and the only way they can is if they hit on one your “buttons” or something that causes intense feelings for you. For example, they may bring up past events which they know cause you to feel guilt or anger or make you feel like you’re being rejected or that you’re not good enough.
So, if there’s one particular person who drains you the most, ask yourself why is it affecting you so much? Sometimes, you can learn a lot about yourself by analyzing what feelings it’s bringing up within you. Once you figure it out and deal with it then you’ll find that the energy draining person simply has no power over you anymore.
7. Trying to feel needed
Is listening to the complaints of negative people your way of feeling valued? Does it make you feel needed? If it does, then you need to start valuing yourself more and you’ll find more quality within yourself. Be selective about who, and how you help others. Just listening to negative tales over and over helps neither of you-one party have to speak encouraging words.
A good test to see if this is happening is to notice how you feel after “helping” someone. If you feel drained or tired or annoyed or frustrated then all you’ve done is given over your own energy to them. This isn’t beneficial to you at all, and rarely does it help them in the long run.
8. Try saying, “I love you, thank you, I’m sorry” over and over 
This is kind of an “off the wall” kind of theory but it’s worth a try. If you want to read an article about how a doctor healed an entire mental institution simply by saying these words then read this story: Dr. Len!
9. It’s not your fault
You may be feeling that you have to solve the problems of the energy drainer. You’re not responsible for the person’s life nor their negativity. You don’t have to feel guilty for them being unhappy. Let go of trying to fix or help them. That’s not what they want anyway. They want your energy and so you have to be strong and not give in to them.
A suggestion for dealing with draining co-workers will be mentioning to the person that you have work to do, and you can only listen to them for a minute. If after a few minutes, the person is still going on about the same thing then either change the conversation or politely but firmly end the conversation.
It’s important to be able to let go of the idea that you owe everyone a solution. With some people you just have to let them go. They have to take responsibility for their own lives and they won’t if someone is always there to fix everything for them. So, Let Go! It sounds mean but it definitely doesn’t help them if they end up taking you down with them. In that case, it’s a lose-lose for both of you.
10. Be enthusiastic and focus on your own energy
If you can be higher energy than they are then your energy will most likely start to rub off on those around you instead of the other way around. Also, the less you pay attention to them, the less they’ll affect you. It takes only one person to bring down an entire office but the reverse is true as well in that it only takes one person to completely bring up the positive energy of an entire office.